Not-so-great Expectations

I always have two expectations when I travel:

1. I will be miserable.
2. I will spend a lot of money.

I expect this trip (to the Bitter End Yacht Club, or BEYC) to be no different. In fact, I've been filled with a nameless dread. But I shall overcome this nameless dread. By naming it. Dread, I hereby dub thee "Crognar".

It doesn't help that our flight is at 7:50 AM.

I fully expect the following events:

• Our flight out will be delayed and we'll sit on the tarmac for two hours.
• We will miss our connection in Atlanta.
• The puddle-jumper from San Juan to Tortola will not have in-flight beverage service.
• The ferry from Tortola to BEYC will have mechanical difficulties, leaving us drifting aimlessly.
• Somehow, I will end up stranded on a tiny island, but unlike Tom Hanks, I will have no volleyball to befriend.
• Shark attack.
• Loss of an appendage (due to shark attack).
• A plague of biting insects.
• Seasickness.
• Identity theft.

Then, on the second day, I will be killed by pirates. Actually, that may come as a relief.

In summary, goodbye cruel world.